Prayer for the soul of a loved one
For the wake, for the ninth day and the fortieth, for the first anniversary and every one after. The prayer for the dead is short, and it is the one most of us learned first.
The days we keep
Filipino families pray for the dead at the wake, then for nine days after the burial, then on the fortieth day, then every year. The rhythm is a kindness: it gives grief somewhere to go. Each of those days can be a petition on the wall, and each year people light candles for a name they never knew.
When the words will not come
Say the eternal rest prayer. It is four lines, and it has been enough for people for a very long time. If even that is too much, say their name and the word "rest". God knows the rest of the sentence.
A prayer you can say
Eternal rest grant unto (name), O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them.
May they rest in peace. Amen.
May their soul, and the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.
Lord, you wept at the grave of your friend, so you know what this is. Receive (name), whom we loved, and who loved us in the way they could.
Forgive what needs forgiving, and finish what was left unfinished. Keep them near you until we see them again. And stay with us in the empty chair, the quiet house, the first birthday without them. Amen.
How to pray it
- Light a candle, at home or on the wall, and say their name.
- Say the eternal rest prayer once, slowly.
- On the ninth day, the fortieth, and each anniversary, post the petition again; others will pray it with you.
- Tell a story about them to someone who did not know them. That is a prayer too.
Other prayers
Last revised September 29, 2026